Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
