There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We are two peas in an std pod
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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