My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
