I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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