they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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