Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
