I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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