Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's always time for handjobs
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
