Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Mom said you looked used
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
