Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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