I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize