You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
