you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
