I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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