More tranny stories later!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
