i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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