Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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