Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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