Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
