I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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