Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
