Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
