yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
