He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize