woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
