i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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