I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
