Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
