Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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