It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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