The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize