the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
