i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
one might say we're banned from that church
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
