god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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