I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
