remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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