Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
