I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
