YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
