He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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