What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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