Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
