no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you win again, gameday.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
