I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
