Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
