it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize