yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
