my phone cant type all the emotion im having
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
