you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
