And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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