so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
