Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
