I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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