so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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