Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
