he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
