Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
