Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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