Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize