i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just blew my weed a kiss
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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