It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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