TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
