Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
