Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize